Nervous System Regulation: How Do You Expand Without Overriding Yourself? | Emily Paulsen & Olivia Marie
Nervous system regulation is having a moment—but too often, it's still misunderstood. It's not about becoming calmer, quieter, or better at relaxing. It’s about building the capacity to be present with your life, your needs, and your choices—without defaulting to performance or self-abandonment.
In this episode of Curious Life of a Childfree Woman, I spoke with Olivia Marie, a nervous system mentor who supports high-achieving women in creating more spacious, self-led lives. This conversation wasn’t about hustle or burnout—it was about the in-between space many of us are living in. The quiet override. The subtle pressure to “push through.” The patterns that slowly chip away at our energy without us realizing it.
One of Olivia’s most powerful analogies was the “Starbucks cup.” Most of us are already carrying a full cup—past experiences, social expectations, constant input—and then life adds more. Our system spills, but we keep pretending we’re fine. That’s not resilience. That’s override.
What Olivia teaches is something very different: how to recognize your capacity, how to protect it, and how to stop organizing your life around other people’s definitions of success, wellness, or “normal.”
The Real Meaning of Regulation
Regulation isn’t about slowing down. It’s about being with what is. A regulated nervous system allows for both stillness and movement, expansion and rest, clarity and uncertainty. It allows for duality.
Olivia emphasized that most of us don’t know we’re overriding ourselves—until we’re already deep in it. We might feel slightly off, disconnected, or overwhelmed, but because we’re still functioning, we don’t call it what it is. Over time, this disconnect becomes our baseline.
That’s where nervous system work comes in—not as a fix, but as a return. It helps you reestablish a relationship with your own cues, limits, and instincts. It helps you recognize when something isn’t sitting right, even if no one else notices. And it helps you reclaim the energy being leaked through constant micro-boundary crossings.
Boundaries, Capacity, and Redefining Normal
One of the most resonant parts of our conversation was the reminder that "normal" is subjective. It's just a reflection of what you've been exposed to most often—not a universal truth. That means we get to redefine it.
In Olivia’s work, building capacity often starts with setting new boundaries—not just with others, but with yourself. The way you move through your day. The way you say yes or no. The way you check in before you commit.
These aren’t productivity hacks or self-care tips. They’re acts of self-leadership.
Curious About How to Regulate Your Nervous System?
If you’ve been feeling stretched thin or slightly disconnected from your own choices, here are a few takeaways from the episode to help you explore nervous system regulation in real life:
Pay attention to override. Notice when you feel tension, pressure, or the urge to dismiss your own needs.
Visualize your “cup.” Are you carrying more than you realize? What’s taking up space today?
Redefine normal. Ask whether the expectations you’re living by are actually serving you.
Honor micro-boundaries. It doesn’t have to be a huge shift. Even one small pause can rewire how you relate to your energy.
Stop outsourcing your safety. The more regulated you are, the less external validation you need to feel grounded.
Let’s Stay Curious Together
The more we understand our capacity, the more intentional we can be about how we move through the world. That’s what this episode is really about—learning to meet ourselves with awareness instead of expectation.
That’s also what this show is about.
Here, we explore ideas that help us live with more freedom, more presence, and more self-trust. We approach every conversation with curiosity, and we invite you to do the same. You don’t have to fit into anyone else’s version of success or fulfillment. You just get to ask what’s true for you—and keep asking.
Listen in wherever you get your podcasts, and join the conversation on Instagram@curiouslifeofachildfreewoman.
