What's Your Ghost Ship Life? My Conversation with Attorney & Modern Philosopher Janet Alexandersson:
Have you ever stood at a crossroads and wondered about the life you didn’t choose? Those moments where a single decision set your path in one direction, leaving another life—a “ghost ship life”—to sail beyond your reach?
In the latest episode of Curious Life of a Childfree Woman, Janet Alexandersson and I reflected on how these alternate lives can shape the way we see ourselves and the world. It’s a question that challenges us to embrace the life we’re living while honoring the beauty of the paths we left behind.
Inspired by Cheryl Strayed’s essay, “The Ghost Ship That Didn’t Carry Us,” our conversation explored curiosity, decision-making, and the creative ways we can define connection and meaning in our lives.
Embracing Curiosity and Reflection
The idea of the “ghost ship life” isn’t about regret—it’s about curiosity. Janet and I discussed how reflecting on the roads we didn’t travel helps us understand ourselves more deeply. To be curious is to care, and through that care, we can find clarity and intention in the choices we make.
Whether it’s imagining the person we might have become or using those reflections to anchor ourselves more firmly in the present, this practice of honoring our “ghost ships” invites growth, gratitude, and peace.
Living Beyond Expectations
One of the most resonant parts of our conversation was redefining what family and connection mean. Janet shared her belief that friendships, chosen families, and intentional communities are just as meaningful as traditional family structures.
For those of us who’ve chosen a childfree life, these ideas hold even more weight. Living beyond societal expectations frees us to create relationships on our own terms—rich, varied, and deeply fulfilling connections that reflect the lives we want to lead.
Making Decisions Without Fear
Janet and I also explored how to approach major decisions with curiosity and courage. Instead of chasing the perfect choice, we can look at what feels most aligned, or even which option leaves room for change.
Sometimes, the best way forward is simply to move. As Cheryl Strayed wrote in her essay:
“I’ll never know, and neither will you, of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us.”
This wisdom reminds us that every choice we make carries its own beauty, lessons, and growth.
Curious about Reflecting on Your Ghost Ship Life?
If you’re curious about exploring your own “ghost ships,” here are a few ways to get started:
Pause and reflect: Take a moment to imagine the lives you didn’t live. What do they reveal about your values and desires?
Celebrate your path: Honor the choices you’ve made and the beauty of the life you’re creating.
Reimagine connection: Consider how you can deepen relationships and build intentional connections that matter most to you.
Let go of perfection: Trust that the life you’re living is as meaningful and important as the lives you didn’t choose.
Let’s Stay Curious Together.
This episode left me feeling inspired and reminded of how powerful it can be to live fully and freely. I hope it stirs up a little curiosity in you, too.
If you enjoyed this episode, please consider sharing it with a friend, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts, or following Curious Life of a Childfree Woman on Instagram at @curiouslifeofachildfreewoman. Your support means the world as we explore, learn, and celebrate living life on our terms.
